


Mercy

by TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Now with brand new Hopeful Ending!, Sad Ending, Sad ending averted, The Author Regrets Everything, the author is sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-08-22 07:26:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16593467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy/pseuds/TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy
Summary: The Lightning did not offer Andrej Sustr a contract in the summer of 2018.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title and story based on the song Mercy by Brett Young. 
> 
>  
> 
> _Why you gotta show up lookin so good just to hurt me_  
>  Why you wanna stop this whole damn world from turning  
> Mercy  
> Why you hanging on so tight if this ain't working  
> Why you wanna stop this flame if it's still burning  
> Cause it's still burning  
> So if you're gonna break my heart, just break it  
> And if you're gonna take your shot, then take it  
> Take it  
> If you made up your mind, then make it  
> Make this fast  
> If you ever loved me  
> Have mercy

Alex knew what was coming before it came. Andrej had been pulling away since they came out of the playoffs, bruised and spirit broken. 

Before even. 

Since he’d been a regular scratch. 

And Alex was tired. The playoffs had been draining and then the way the team went out…

Things had been weird all summer with Andrej and neither of them had addressed it. 

They’d traveled back to Tampa together, before free agency started because Andrej had a meeting with Yzerman. 

They both knew what was coming. This was just going to confirm it. 

Alex was sitting in his kitchen, a mug of coffee in his hands, waiting. 

He started when he heard the garage door open. Andrej came in and dropped his phone and keys on the counter before taking a seat across the bar from Alex. 

Alex felt the quickening of his pulse he still got every time he saw Andrej. The scar down his face did nothing to detract from how attractive he is. 

“They’re not going to offer me a contract,” Andrej told Alex, voice flat. 

Alex nodded. “We knew that, so what do we…”

Andrej held his hand up, stopping Alex from speaking. 

“I’ve talked to my agent. There are a few teams who have shown some interest.”

“You talked to your agent already? I thought we decided…”

Andrej held his hand up again, stopping Alex from speaking again. 

“I made a decision about my career on my own. I’m allowed to do that,” Andrej spat. 

“We decide that we were going to make decisions together because we’re in this relationship together. It affects both of us! We are a team,” Alex said, setting his coffee down a little too forcefully. 

He got up to get a paper towel to clean up the mess he made. While Alex’s back was turned Andrej spoke. 

“Well maybe we shouldn’t be.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asked without turning. 

“I’m not going to be here next year. We have to consider…”

Alex turned back around, paper towels clutched in his hand, but forgotten. 

“I don’t want to consider anything, I want to figure out how to make it work,” Alex said, voice wavering. “Maybe you can go to the Panthers. They aren’t far, we would be able to see each other a few times a month at the least.”

“A few times a month? That’s good enough for you?” Andrej asked, voice raising as he stood up. 

“It’s better than not at all,” Alex said, eyes filling. 

“It’s not,” Andrej said, slamming a hand down on the counter. 

“So you don’t want to see me at all?” Alex asked, shaking. 

“I don’t think I do,” Andrej said, all the fight going out of him. He sat back down on his stool. 

“You’re breaking up with me?” Alex asked, tears finally falling from his eyes. 

“I think so.”

“You think so, or you are?” Alex asked, anger taking hold. “Because I can’t sit and wait on what you might ‘think’ you want.”

Andrej stood up and grabbed his keys and phone. “I’m leaving. I’ll be back later for my stuff.”

Alex slid down the counter to the floor, crying, as Andrej slammed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrej misses Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you go out tonight and get drunk and lonely  
> Wind up home alone  
> Please don't call me  
> And say you miss me  
> No
> 
> If you're gonna break my heart, just break it  
> And if you're gonna take your shot, then take it  
> Take it  
> If you made up your mind, then make it  
> Make this fast  
> If you ever loved me  
> Have mercy

Alex had just finished a workout when his phone lit up. 

Andrej. 

Alex was in a gym in Montreal surrounded by other athletes and he really shouldn’t answer. Under any circumstances. 

“Hello?”

“Alex!” Andrej slurred. “I didn’t think you would answer.”

Alex walked somewhere quiet as quickly as he could. “You’re drunk,” he hissed. 

“Very.” Andrej confirmed. 

“It’s the middle of the afternoon, what are you doing?” Alex asked, closing himself in a supply closet he found. 

“Not in Europe.” He popped the P, obnoxiously. “Did you forget about time zones, Harvard boy?” Andrej asked, slurred and laughing. 

“What the fuck do you want?”

Andrej stopped laughing. “Oh. Yeah.” He paused so long Alex though he might have fallen asleep or dropped his phone. “I miss you. I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Fuck you,” Alex said before hanging up. 

It was only a week before Andrej lit up his phone again. This time he was at home and he wasn’t going to answer. He wasn’t. 

“Hello?”

“‘Lex! You answered again,” Andrej slurred. He sounded drunker than the first time. 

“This isn’t fair, Andrej. You left, you made the choice. You could be here, right now, with me but you made the choice to leave,” Alex said, anger bubbling over. 

“I know. I made a mistake. The worst mistake I’ve ever made,” Andrej slurred. 

At least that’s what Alex thought he said, it was hard to tell. 

“Don’t call me again,” Alex said, firmly, before hanging up. 

Andrej called again a week later and Alex didn’t answer. He couldn’t bring himself to listen to Andrej’s heartbroken, drunk voice. 

And he can’t put himself through that again. He won’t. 

Andrej didn’t call again until training camp. Alex was out to lunch with a few of the guys. 

“Really?” Tyler asked, pointing at Alex’s phone. 

“I don’t answer,” Alex told him, losing his appetite. “Not anymore.”

Tyler sighed and patted his arm. 

Andrej called more after that, almost everyday, but Alex didn’t answer. He never left a voicemail or texted. 

Until he did. 

Alex waited hours to listen to the voicemail. 

“Hey, I don’t blame you for not answering. I wouldn’t answer either after the shit I pulled over the summer. I didn’t want to apologize to your voicemail but,” Andrej paused. “I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry for calling you drunk. I don’t remember most of what I said but I’m sure it was bad. And I’m sorry for how I handled not getting signed. I should have talked to you. About everything. Right from the start. This entire thing is on me and I know that. I just want you to know that I’m sorry. If I could change it I would in a heartbeat but… if you’re willing, I would like to talk. It hurts not to have you in my life. I love you Alex and I’m sorry if it’s shitty of me to tell you but I haven’t said it in so long…” 

The voicemail cut off. 

Alex listened to it again. And again. And three more times after that. 

Then he deleted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say I’m sorry but we both know I’m not. 
> 
> I’m sorry to Alex. 
> 
> That’s it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex calls.

Andrej didn’t call again after the voicemail. 

Alex wanted to call him, but he didn’t. He still wasn’t over the hard look on Andrej’s face when he turned around and walked out of their kitchen. 

Out of Alex’s kitchen. 

Out of Alex’s life.

The longer Alex waited, the more the ache inside hurt. 

When the pain of missing Andrej outweighed the pain of him leaving, Alex finally picked up the phone. 

He called when he knew Andrej was on the ice. 

“I miss you too,” he said into his phone. “I want to talk. I want to fix things, if you do.”

Alex hung up the phone and waited. He watched Andrej’s game and chewed on his thumbnail. 

Finally Andrej called. He was out of breath, like he’d just come off the ice. 

“Hi,” Andrej said when Alex answered. “You called.”

He sounded amazed. 

“I love you,” was all Alex could manage to say. 

“I love you, too. I want to fix this, I want to make it work,” Andrej said, all in a jumble. 

“Do you really think we can?” Alex asked. 

“It’s going to be hard, it’s going to take work, but it will be worth it. We can do this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t leave them broken. I hope you enjoyed this emotional roller coaster with me.

**Author's Note:**

> The author lied in the tags. She isn’t sorry.


End file.
